Sorta.
There is always a danger in sharing thoughts on a public blog. Danger of being misunderstood. Danger of offending those you never intended to. Danger of making everybody mad, especially your close friends and family-- the ones you bump into at the grocery store or share the turkey with on holidays.
Birth control is a controversial issue. That isn’t a new revelation to anyone. I’ve been blogging for almost two years and have never talked about it because of the dangers listed above. I don’t enjoy being controversial just for controversy’s sake or to see a spike in blog traffic. In fact, in some ways this is really the last thing I want to blog about.
So why do it? After all, many others much more articulate than I, have written about it. Great men and women of the past as well as modern ones have hashed out the issue. Couldn’t time and space be better used? Must we open up this can of worms? Again?
Two reasons:
1.) When I asked at the beginning of this year what you ladies would like more blog posts about, it was overwhelmingly this issue of birth control or something related to it such as a growing family amid unsupportive family members. I get at least one email per month from women who are terrified of relinquishing control to God alone in this area of their lives. She doesn’t, after all, want to “end up with 20 children.” Others want to know how my husband and I came to the decision to have a reversal procedure done.
2.) Also, birth control and abortion (yes, I link the two) are two of the defining cultural issues of our generation. When there is an area that has been labeled “gray” by the culture AND by many Christians and yet God has been clear on it, it should be proclaimed loudly and by as many as are willing to do so.
I want to be clear: the gospel is infinitely more important than any of these issues. While our practices may indeed be an outworking of our faith, it is still our faith in Christ that matters. I would be much more inclined to approach a stranger on the street about her eternal destiny, than I would about how many children she had. Therefore, I do not elevate this politically incorrect topic of birth control above the politically incorrect gospel of Christ.
I also want to clear the air beforehand, that I do not believe large families hold the corner market on some sort of elevated Christianity. “God forbid that I should boast in anything but the Lord Jesus Christ.” (Gal. 6:14) I do not "judge" anyone who has less than four children. My third objective in writing these posts is to point out an unbiblical attitude toward life and children, that many Christians hold to.
To most of you I am just some strange woman on the Internet. I encourage you to be a Berean no matter whose blog or book you are reading even if it is someone you highly respect. Everyone, no matter who you are reading, has blind spots.
I approach each email I receive about birth control with fear and trembling and so with this blog post, even moreso. Yet as many of you lament, the Titus 2 women are MIA and you are turning to authors of books and blogs for guidance from older women. And I totally get that.
And so this is a post talking about a post. I think there is indeed a great need for clarity on this whole issue of birth control. I’m praying for grace! This little intro is the beginning of a two or three part series about birth control and family planning.
So. Anyone mad yet? :)


20 comments:
Looking forward to it. Isn't it strange how you offend someone by just the fact that you have a few more than 2 kids. People are always offended by something. I can tell sometimes by just the way they look at us. Thanks for the encouragement you give to so many of us.
Missy
It will be good to hear. I wish I had known what I know now 10 years ago ~ sigh. This reversal journey has been the hardest of my life.
Looking forward to your next post & no I'm not mad :)
Blessings
Renata:)
I'm also looking forward to it. In reading your blog for a while now, I know that everything you say is based very tightly on Scripture. I know that the post you write on the issue of birth control will be right on.
I say, bring it on. Almost everyone out there, whether Christian or not, is offended at SOMETHING. We cannot avoid talking about certain subjects that may lead others to a faith and knowledge of Jesus Christ just because it may offend. Offense these days is brought on by conversations about food, books, hairstyles, and more.
So, I'm looking forward to it because I always love to have my toes stepped on and I know that just because God said for us to have quivers full of children doesn't mean that, if a woman surrenders her womb to Christ, she will automatically have a dozen or more children.
Quivers of arrows have differing amounts of arrows depending on the will and job of the archer, and so goes our literal Quivers also, according to the Will of Him Who is the Great Filler of the Quiver.
I can't wait for this post!
I am a new reader and enjoy your blog very much.
I will look forward to reading these posts and I just wanted to encourage you as you embark on this series!
I felt squirmy just reading this post because it challenges me. And I need to be challenged. So thank you, and may you be blessed as I am sure you will bless others!
I so look forward to this series. My husband and I are expecting our fifth baby in October and we just recently found out.This is just the thing I need right now as I haven't decided when to tell my side of the family. Kudos to you Bambi. However many it offends even more will be encouraged.
I'm also looking forward to it. I like how you pointed out that we should rest in God's Word for the answers and not people's opinions; like Bereans.
Hi Bambi,
Thank you for having the courage to write about these things. My most recent post was about how our culture is basically teaching the opposite of the things listed in Titus 2 that young women should be learning. If you're interested:
http://whocanstandagainst.blogspot.ca/2013/02/titus-2-vs-anti-culture-seven.html
I look forward to reading these future posts from you!
Stephanie
Thank y'all for the sweet encouragement :)
You'll probably be OK until the Trolls find you, bless their hearts. They are fascinated with this subject.
Can't wait to read it!
I look forward to your series on BC, especially your story on reversal.
My husband had a reversal 9 1/2 months ago and now we are expecting our 7th blessing. His vas was 10 yrs ago.
I love these stories, they are so encouraging.
Lori
Yes, I know :)
Hi Lori,
I've written our reversal testimony here:
http://www.nurseryofthenation.com/2011/07/reversal-story.html
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Praise the Lord!
Love the topic! We have let God lead in our family size for all but the first four months of our marriage. We've been married for almost 14 years and God has blessed us with two boys. I am often a voice of.."Just because you give him your family size doesn't mean you will have a large family." I often face a lot of pain as well as my heart aches and aches for more children...year after year.
I'm also excited about reading your BC post. When we have prevented, we've always used FAM, but my husband is slowly bringing me around to the idea of just letting God choose. It's a scary thought, but also rewarding. It's encouraging to me to hear BTDT advice from a mom of many who is clearly happy with her decision.
~Jamie
Thank you and I can't wait.:)
Like the others mentioned, I am looking forward to reading your perspective/wisdom on this. Our baby #5 is 8 months old and only 13months younger than his sister - which is what occured when we relinquished control to Him. But having them so close has greatly overwhelmed me (in addition to taking care of my other 3 kids) and now I'm pulling back and doubting letting God take control. *sigh*
Natalie,
You said, "bless their hearts"! LOL! Did you learn that from Bambi or me? :-)
Bambi,
I'm cheering you on from my little corner.
Ha! We're getting to her. Behind that northern exterior she's a southern belle at heart.
And (((thank you)))
SO excited to read (and share) what you write about. After my husband and I found out how birth control truly worked, we stopped using it (3 years ago). We have a 2 year old and 6 month old right now. We have also come to the place that we feel "surrendering all" and "releasing control" means doing so with my womb as well. Letting the Lord plan our family. I totally relate to your approach to this topic...with fear and trembling. May the Lord speak through you and may hearts be open to hear the truth!
What Jen posted touched my heart above...I've had 4 pregnancies and have two precious boys. We have been trying for another little one for over 2 years and so far God hasn't opened my womb for that blessing. So I go through all the thoughts about why some of my friends can just seemingly look at each other and get pregnant and now have 8+ children--one even pregnant with her 12th!--while I'm having issues. But I know God knows the "perfect" quiver full for our family--and I am learning to accept it might just be two precious amazing little boys.
Honestly, I have no desire to have "as many children as God blesses me with" in as much as just continuing to have more until my body doesn't have them any longer. We have only ever used the barrier method and we did it in our first two years of marriage--then after my first son for 2 years--and we would choose to do it that way again.
I know I'm the first person to say this so far. But it's the truth. We made the decision to concentrate on our new status as husband and wife--and learning how to be a couple to build a foundation before bringing in a new life. We've never regretted that decision. I admire my friends with large families. But I don't have that overwhelming desire for myself and neither does my husband--and he comes from a large family. HOWEVER--My husband and I have prayed about it and continue to do so--and have asked Him to show us His plans for our family--whatever they may be.
Whether intentional or not, I have been made to feel a most wretched sinner because of my feelings--always by mothers of large families. Like I'm lesser of a woman. Or lesser of a Christian (like you said in your post) because I am (in their words) "refusing" to let God bless me.
Thus, just as those with larger families desire to be shown respect and support for their decisions I think they in turn need to respect those of us who may not have the same conviction. I love my two sons with as much love as they have for their 4+ children.
I am still looking forward to your series... :0)
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