Besides having an unbiblical understanding of children, many of the reasons Christians don't have more kids is due to fear.
- Fear that our bodies will fall apart
- Fear of rabbithood
- Fear of other's opinions
- Fear of overpopulation
- Fear that our hearts do not contain enough love to give to so many
- Fear that God won't give us a physically perfect child
- Fear that the days do not contain enough hours to give each one enough attention
- Financial fears (which is what I'm harping on today so click the x now if you don't want to read.)
Fear of Beggary
I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. Psalm 37:25
It's interesting to me that we are the richest people in history and yet we're the most fearful about the cost of children. Maybe it's because we don't realize just how wealthy we are are. Or maybe it's because the media has told us for years it takes a gazillion dollars to raise a child to adulthood. Maybe it's because we don't recognize the investment that children are and that one day they will be the ones caring for our wrinkly old bodies with their own time, money and affection.
But I think mostly it's because we don't consider the difference in needs and wants. All a child needs is love, a roof over his head, food and clothing.
Does Junior really need his own room?
That fancy Montessori preschool?
Private ice skating lessons?
His own ipad?
No.
But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content 1 Tim. 6:8
In fact, when people refer to the cost of children they are referring to the cost of entertaining them because we are an entertainment addicted society. Our entire lives revolve around what entertainment lies around the corner.
Friends, families can survive on peanut butter just as well as they can steak. Ask me how I know. Hand-me-down or thrift store clothing is not the worst of social scandals. It's all our family wears and I dare say there are people who look more dorky than we do who shop at the department stores.
No Seriously. We're Broke.
No one can argue that is does cost to provide food, clothing and shelter for a large family. And in an economy where so many men are unemployed or underemployed, and the grocery costs keep climbing, it can leave us, well, anxious. (I'm shoulder to shoulder with you. It's one of the reasons this blog exists as well as why I'm always pestering everyone about flexi-clips.)
What in the world? How did that get in there?
We should never be anxious, but instead we should strive to be courageous women who do the bold thing--trust God when it's hard.
Our family has gone through financial trials. Ones that I look back on and shudder. But never once have we lacked a roof, food or clothing. Not once. God has always provided for our needs... many times in ways we would never have imagined.
I wrote a series of posts once about the expense of children that contains more practical ideas for making the ends meet while receiving God's wonderful gift of children. Start here: The Expense of Children.
And that is going to conclude this little series on birth control. Whew. I tossed around the idea of continuing with issues like spending enough time with the children, and mothering them all well. But then I realized that that is the overarching purpose of this entire blog. My passion is family discipleship and that's what I've been blogging about for the last two years. So go therefore and read archives.


5 comments:
A wonderful post! So encouraging and a great reminder (or new information) for many. I agree - God will supply all our needs. Sometimes we are caught up thinking our wants are needs ... and they aren't.
Thanks for sharing. :)
Amen sista! Finances are one of the main questions we get asked about since we have such a large family. Our kids pay for many of their own things, which makes it less expensive for us AND they value their things much more. And it doesn't have to cost what the world thinks to raise a child. And by the way.....even if it did.....they are still worth it! We'd just have to find a way, right? Thanks for this great post. Lisa~
Thanks for stopping by Lisa! :) Excellent point--our older kids pay for many of their own things now too. Amazing how much more they appreciate it when it comes from their own pocket. It has made them frugal, more responsible and thankful for what they have. Thank you Lord! :)
Hi Bambi,
I have been keeping up with your posts about this subject of birth control. Each blog post has been interesting and insightful to this viewpoint. I have been prayerfully seeking answers in light of scripture to this topic. However, I must say that, in love, that scripture is not totally clear on this topic. As New Covenant believers we are to follow things that the Bible is clear about in scripture. Renewing our minds and becoming conformed to His image, just like they did in the Old Covenant but they were looking to the future Messiah.
In the Old Testament, there are many things that God commands and things which He hates. For example, as I’m sure you are totally familiar with the Ten Commandments, such as murder, adultery and idolatry. Jesus then reiterates these commands in the New Testament (example Matt 19), as do many of the other books in the New Testament. Homosexuality is another example of something that is in the OT and reiterated in the NT in Romans 1.
With that in mind let us take the some verses that seem to support being quiverfull. Genesis 1:28 “God blessed them: and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it…” and Psalm 127: 3-5 “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them…” While I love children and I do agree that they are a blessing from God, I do not think that these verses are implying that we should have as many as possible (aka, no birth control), and I don't see any commands anywhere in the NT or all of scripture for that matter that gives this command to Christians.
My second questioning point is whether these verses are descriptive or prescriptive. In today’s society we are encountering many people who are not interpreting scripture correctly or putting in their own personal interpretation. For example, Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” This was a descriptive historical verse telling us about Israel. However, as NT New Covenant believers we cannot use this verse to say that God is going to prosper us. Let’s now look at Genesis 1:28, this verse is an historical account of the creation and God telling Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. Again we cannot take this verse out of context either. Keep in mind that in both cases that God gives the command to "be fruitful and multiply", the earth was empty!
Let me make a few more things clear. Any type of birth control that could in any way harm or kill the baby I believe is wrong. Abortion is murder, some types of birth control (pills or shot) can cause spontaneous abortion, and therefore I am totally against these methods. However, there are other forms that in no way could harm life such as natural family planning or barrier methods. In scripture, I cannot find any verses that condemn these methods.
I am not against your choice to be quiverfull nor am I against people who chose to use non-abortive tactics. Rather than believing these are commands, as I look through a Biblical lens, I can only conclude that they are personal preferences. I want to have a lot of children because they are wonderful blessings and that they can help us to become more Christ-like. But, I do not believe everyone has to have a quiverfull mindset. I’ve seen too many people intentionally or accidently making this the focus. Rather our mindset needs to be focused on becoming more like Christ through sanctification, glorifying Him, and preaching and proclaiming the Gospel.
With Love, Anonymous
Hello Anonymous,
Thank you for commenting. I am sure it tok you awhile to compose all that and I appreciate it.
First of all, no one, not one time has mentioned the term "quiverfull". The fact that you used it suggests that you have been influenced by the quiverfull "fad" philosophy that many Christians (myself being one) have come to reject. That belief being that we believe we should multiply as quickly as we can, trying our best to reproduce to attain some form of higher godliness. Not so. I intentionally did *not* use the term, but instead backed up my position with scripture.
You said: "In the Old Testament, there are many things that God commands and things which He hates. For example, as I’m sure you are totally familiar with the Ten Commandments, such as murder, adultery and idolatry. Jesus then reiterates these commands in the New Testament (example Matt 19), as do many of the other books in the New Testament. Homosexuality is another example of something that is in the OT and reiterated in the NT in Romans 1."
I am not following you here and what it has to do with birth control.
You said: "While I love children and I do agree that they are a blessing from God, I do not think that these verses are implying that we should have as many as possible (aka, no birth control), and I don't see any commands anywhere in the NT or all of scripture for that matter that gives this command to Christians."
Again, you have misunderstood the point of these posts. I never once said to have as many children as you could. In fact, I said that many people WON'T be given a large family and in the comments many times, I said that there were valid times to use NFP. However, if we truly believe that children are blessings, as you said *you* believe...why then would we want to stop them? Either they are blessings or they aren't.
I completely agree with your thoughts about Jeremiah 29:11, but I am not sure how it pertains to this subject about birth control and the unbiblical attitude towards children.
You said: "Keep in mind that in both cases that God gives the command to "be fruitful and multiply", the earth was empty!"
Can you show me where that command was revoked?
As far as making this the focus of our Christian lives, you must not have read the introduction to this post. Therefore, I will give you the link here:
http://www.nurseryofthenation.com/2013/02/in-which-i-talk-about-birth-control.html
I encourage you to read the other posts as well as the comments. Also, while I appreciate your comment in *love* I will not feel obligated to spend precious minutes answering another one, unless you leave your name. (Said in love :)
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